It's All Up to You
From 1975 to 1987, David Hartman, the first co-host of ABC’s show, Good Morning America, ended every episode with, “Go out and make it a good day.” In this way, Mr. Hartman was encouraging viewers to take an active role in how their day would unfold. Every day we’re faced with the option of whether we will make the day, or whether the day will make us. Driving that decision is the armor of our identity. Like arrows in a quiver, life’s experiences, personal choices, and inner drive can have a significant impact in defining a person’s identity.
Societal roles and life’s experiences, particularly childhood experiences, lay the foundation for our developing identities. In the opening sentence of Who You Callin’ a Bitch?, Queen Latifah explains while she is neither a psychologist or sociologist, nor an expert on life, she is a “young black woman from the inner city who is making it, despite the odds, despite the obstacles I’ve had to face in the lifetimes that have come my way” (33). She describes how negative societal roles experienced by the African American woman (such as slave, mammy, bitch, ho) have resulted in them being “so hurt… by society- and by men and by life- that we can’t even wrap our brains around the notion that we deserve better, that we are queens” (34). My childhood experiences have similarly contributed to the development of my own identity. In the early 1960’s my younger brother and I were caught in the midst of a terrible divorce and custody battle between my parents. After the divorce we moved often as nobody wanted to rent to a young divorcee whose enraged ex-husband was always breaking down the doors to get to his kids. At age 6, I was charged with looking after my younger brother which I often did from the front seat of a patrol car while the officers were sorting things out between my parents inside our house. Lacking financial support from my father my mother struggled to feed us. Having had only a tenth grade education, finding a job was no easy task for her. My father ultimately agreed that he would support us only if we were taken away from our mother and placed in foster care for a year. “Life will put you through plenty of tests and throw many obstacles your way, but it’s how you pass those tests, how you overcome those obstacles, that distinguishes you as a queen” (Latifah 35). From an early age, these experiences instilled in me several virtues which have shaped my identity: as nurturer and protector, defender of the underdog, and the belief that an education is the key to independence.
The choices we make significantly impact our sense of self. Regardless of the station in a woman’s life, Queen Latifah encourages the reader to make the choice to “be proud of who she is, whether she is a corporate executive or a cleaning lady, whether she’s an athlete or a housewife” (35), a virtue I’ve worked to impart my own children. People who make poor choices may suffer the consequences by finding themselves exiled by family members, unemployable, or even incarcerated. From an early age, my mother stressed to me the importance of making sound choices and living with the consequences of making poor ones. While she tried to instill these same virtues in my brother, he was unsuccessful in applying them to his own life. As a result his relationships with family members are strained and he is no stranger to the law. In his essay, Donald Trump presents an interesting parable about choices: five frogs are sitting on a log when four of them decide to jump off. Mr. Trump challenges the reader to consider how many frogs are left, pointing out “there’s a difference between deciding and doing” (242). After considering it for many years I recently jumped into the college pond to pursue a Bachelor’s degree after receiving an Associate’s degree over 30 years ago.
Inner drive is another contributing factor in a person’s identity. Donald Trump’s essay Find the Greatness within Yourself includes a quote from Galileo, noted physicist and astronomer: “You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself” (242). Galileo implies that we must look inward to find that which guides us; an opinion which is shared by Queen Latifah: “All things start in the soul and work outward” (34). It is this inner drive, cultivated and encouraged by someone who recognizes your potential, which motivates us to define our identity by our own conscious actions. Determined to not repeat the unhappy history experienced by my mother I began setting my life’s goals by my early teens. My first goal was to take pride in my achievements, acknowledging that each success was the product of hard work and determination. I am my own biggest competitor. Mr. Trump notes that competition is a good thing, while complacency “is the ultimate enemy of success” (242).
I’m living proof that childhood experiences, inner drive, and personal choices lay the foundation for the development of a person’s identity. They’ve shaped me into the person I am today: loving mother and wife, fledgling college student, successful career woman, and queen. There’s no challenge in being complacent. Go out and make it a good day.
The Choice is Yours
From 1975 to 1987, David Hartman, the first co-host of ABC’s show Good Morning America ended every episode with, “Go out and make it a good day.” In this way, Mr. Hartman was encouraging viewers to take an active role in how their day would unfold. Every day we’re faced with the choices of whether we will make the day, or whether the day will make us. Based on my own experiences, the role of personal choice is a defining factor in a person’s identity.
Childhood experiences can have an impact on our identity by guiding the choices we make later in life. In the opening sentence of “Who You Callin’ a Bitch?”, Queen Latifah explains while she is neither a psychologist or sociologist, nor an expert on life, she is a “young black woman from the inner city who is making it, despite the odds, despite the obstacles I’ve had to face in the lifetimes that have come my way” (33). My childhood experiences have similarly contributed to the development of my own identity. In the early 1960’s my younger brother and I were caught in the midst of a terrible divorce and custody battle between my parents. Lacking financial support from my father, my mother struggled to feed us. Finding a job was no easy task for a woman with a tenth grade education. My father ultimately agreed that he would support us only if we were taken from our mother and placed in foster care for a year. The helplessness I felt and the sadness in my mother’s eyes as we left our home was unbearable; even today, the pain is almost palpable. Queen Latifah’s quote, “Life will put you through plenty of tests and throw many obstacles your way, but it’s how you pass those tests, how you overcome those obstacles, that distinguishes you as a queen” (35) really rang true for me. Looking back through the years I can see how those events of my childhood have contributed to the development of my identity. I made a conscious choice to do whatever it took to be as self sufficient as possible; I decided at an early age that I would not rely on anyone but myself to take care of my needs. Today, I am proud of my identity as a strong, independent woman, a nurturer and protector, and a defender of the underdog. Although I’ve been happily married for over 30 years, my own identity as an individual was well under development when I had the good fortune to meet my husband.
The choices we make significantly impact our sense of self. Regardless of the station in a woman’s life, Queen Latifah encourages the reader to make the choice to “be proud of who she is, whether she is a corporate executive or a cleaning lady, whether she’s an athlete or a housewife” (35), a virtue I’ve worked to impart my own children. People who make poor choices may suffer the consequences by finding themselves exiled by family members, unemployable, or even incarcerated. From an early age, my mother stressed to me the importance of making sound choices. While she tried to instill these same virtues in my brother, he was unsuccessful in applying them to his own life. As a result his relationships with family members are strained and he is no stranger to the law.
When making a choice to do something, the choice is worthless unless it is actually carried out. In his essay, Donald Trump presents an interesting parable about choices: five frogs are sitting on a log when four of them decide to jump off. Mr. Trump challenges the reader to consider how many frogs are left, pointing out “there’s a difference between deciding and doing” (242). After considering it for many years I recently jumped into the college pond to pursue a Bachelor’s degree after receiving an Associate’s degree over 30 years ago. My identity as a student conveys different things to different people; to younger college students, I’m the “why would anyone want to return to school at THAT age?” student; to non-student friends my own age, I’m the insane ‘overachiever’; and to students close to my age I’m another middle aged woman trying to determine what color my parachute is.
Inner drive gives a person the control to make the best personal choices for him- or herself; in this way, inner drive is a contributing factor in a person’s identity. Donald Trump’s essay “Find the Greatness within Yourself” includes a quote from Galileo, noted physicist and astronomer: “You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself” (242). Galileo implies that we must look inward to find that which guides us; an opinion which is shared by Queen Latifah: “All things start in the soul and work outward” (34). Cultivated and encouraged by someone who recognizes our potential, this inner drive motivates us to define our identity through our own conscious actions. For example, determined to not repeat the unhappy history experienced by my mother, I began setting my life’s goals by my early teens. My first goal was to take pride in my achievements, acknowledging that each success was the product of hard work and determination. I am my own biggest competitor. Mr. Trump notes that competition is a good thing, while complacency “is the ultimate enemy of success” (242).
I’m living proof that personal choices lay the foundation for the development of a person’s identity. By refusing to let history repeat itself, I’ve allowed my childhood experiences to guide me, thereby shaping my identity into that which I am today: loving mother and wife, fledgling college student, successful career woman, and queen. There’s no challenge in being complacent. I try to follow David Hartman’s suggestion by choosing to make each day a good one.
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